Whydoesntmycodework? DokuWiki Service

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session date: 18/07/2026

• we wait until 10pm to go back to the mr burger
• we pick up petrol while waiting
• plan to set the place on fire by dumping ice into the friers
• Peter walsh gets a suppressor
• edp mobile is a road train (the train car things, not a very long lorry)
• The place is very quiet, 4 cars in the carpark
• We sneak up
• John fucking walks up to the window and stares inside
• the cleaning lady walks up to the window, stares at john in the eyes and cleans the window
• the team splits up in 2, norton and lee taking the drive through and peter and john taking the front
• John suggests asking to go to the loo to gain access
• lee tries to check if the window is unlocked, it appears to be locked
• john knocks on the door, asks to use the loo after eating baked potato stand
• she refuses as she just cleaned the toilet, so quick thinking peter says john is gonna shit himself on the doorstep
• she lets him in, references to contaminated lettuce
• she makes john leave his bag outside
• In the meantime, lee and norton commando crawl under the drive through window
• Lee and Norton reach a firedoor
• john leaves the loo and sprints back to the front door
• The ruse is up, the cleaner remarks on the lack of fecal matter and the dude tries to grab john
• he easily grabs john
• Meanwhile, norton and lee peer in and decide to head into the drive through
• Just before john got restrained, peter gains access through one of the 2 doors
• lee uses his machete as a crowbar to get in the drivethrough window, turns out he was trying the wrong part of the window earlier and it opens fine
• as they go through, somebody notices them
• AS john gets grabbed, peter smashes the glass door
• Peter shouts 'Are you out of you damn fucking mind!'
• He is cannoniocally wearing his health inspector hivis ontop of his goth outfit
• lee waits for a beasty to walk to the open window, and grabs the cunt and tries dragging him out the window
• He is waaay too heavy to drag out the window
• Norton levels up his stake crossbow heheh
• aiming it at the guy, he shoots
• it misses and bounces off the glass due to its low velocity
• john breaks the wrappers guy grip, and he swipes at john
• cleaner swipes a broom at john, he ducks
• stupid fucking initative changes??? i love going from next turn to bottom half!
• lee flips over the drivethrough guy
• cleaner then beelines peter and smacks him, doing some damage
• Norton aims and fires again. He ducks under it and Lee tries to duck too
• It hits lee in the shoulder
• peter hucks john's bag at mr maito
• it hits him square in the forehead
• I love a cricket bat, explosive filled backpack!
• John dives to grab it to stop it going off when it hits the floor
• he doesnt get it BUT it doesnt exploed (2 coin flips wheew)
• Peter then aims at cleaners head
• 'Go fuck yourself!' and pulls the trigger
• +4 damage for shotty at close range
• Peter blows he fucking brains out
• the inside of her head was full of creepy crawlies
• as her body drops, we can see her entire body is full of writhing bugs
• Lee tries to dunk mr fries and fails. Mr fries picks up a frying basket and asks 'would you like fries with that' and swings said hot basket at lee
• Lee attempts to push mr fries back so he hits the other guy
• John attempts to sweep up his bag and draw his bat like a backmounted scabbard
• cricket bat in hand he swings at mr meals head
• smacking his head, he falls to the ground. His body begins to break down into a collection of greasy papers, fry boxes and instead of blood theres a thin dribble of what looks like ink
• 'You're off to become ashes!'
• One of them jumps out the drive through and looks at Norton, licks his lips and says 'meat'
• He hits Norton, hurting him
• Norton grabs the machete and swings at mr meat
• Norton expertly lops of his arm, it has no bones (boneless!)
• 'Theres some meat for ya!'
• He is literally just mince
• Peter walsh walks up to the counter and aims at mr meat (outside by drive through window)
• 'Oi! I got a fucking order!'
• Blasting him, peter misses but the glass of the drive through window shreds him a little (Round 2 of 6)
• Lee scavenges a kitchen knife and stabs mr fries
• Lee cuts through him easily, he is like leathery and bleeds a dark brown? it flows… slowly. and the scent of used frier oil fills his nostils. Gone past fishy and smells of death.
• 'I got none' Weird oneliner?
• He tries to dunk lee in the frier but Lee dodges a horrible fate.
• smiling at Norton, mr meat has cow teeth instead of human teeth
• He chomps down on norton, and latches on
• Norton tries to cut down on him like he is cutting onions
• but sadly he fails to land a good swing
• peter jumps the counter, morphs into a beautiful bird and the turns back at the window
• Peter shoots mr meat and lands his shot (barely)
• his torso turns into a fine pink mist
• 3 rounds remain
• The head remains chomping onto norton
• Lee stabs mr fries and je collapses into potatos and fetid frier oil.
• the lay slain
• we head to the managers office
• great ready to breach and clear
• the managers office is fucked up
• the ground is a collection of bugs, and an otherworldy blue glow covers it
• A corpse of the manager is slumped in the corner
• The swarm of insects, fecal mater, oil, sweat etc etc rises
• it releases an earpiercing scream
• it speaks in thousands of voices
• 'Im sorry'
• steps towards us in a manner which resembles gliding, but with the ground quakes
• Lee sees the black smoke again, if before was a river this is a tsunami